The real beefcakes of daytime TV are those cute hosts of kids' educational programs
Ditch the bodice-rippers, moms, and forget those cheesy soaps. Educational kids' shows turn out to be a motherlode of male comeliness. Maybe it's unsavory to use your wee one as a beard, just so you can ogle manly eye candy, but at least you're learning how to create papier-mache mobiles or spot indigenous marsupials.
I stumbled onto this secret when, at a party, I innocently wondered out loud where that charming Kevin Brauch, a TVOntario kids' show host (formerly of Crawlspace, now Stuff) had disappeared to. The mothers in the room exchanged conspiratorial glances, and one murmured, "We like Joe better."
Joe Motiki was Kevin's successor on Crawlspace. Mischievous, and devilishly handsome, his hosting style was frenetic, off-the-wall. The moms were mum on his appeal, though one admitted, "I did enjoy watching Joe, but I think it's better to keep these things under the table."
Now I wonder about Joe's successor, the zany and robust Phil McCordic. Does he, too, have a fan club of secret admirers?
But really, it's no secret: a stranger cheerfully volunteered Steve Burns (a boyish 27) of the popular Blue's Clues to me. "He's cute!" she opined. So I watched, and yes, the host who seeks guidance from a shovel, a pail and salt and pepper shakers, is cute. What's more, you can't help but have warm feelings for him: He talks to you, calls you smart, and thanks you for helping him. Steve appreciates you, dammit.
For the artistically inclined, there's the lean, dark and vulpinely handsome Philippe Rouault, of the French-version Art Attack. Watch him, and polish up your French - and learn how to make fabulous pencil holders.
Philippe gazes intently into your eyes, into your soul, as if to ask, "Why do we hide behind masks of kitchen bags festooned with pasta shapes and pipe cleaners? Is it because we wish to conceal our true natures?" You are entranced by his rigorous logic, and the bits of coloured twine adhering to his turtleneck. You walk along the Seine. He rips out a page of Being and Nothingness and folds it into a cunning little origami boat, which he floats on the water. You are deeply moved by this symbolic gesture ...
But enough of Philippe, he's too intellectual. If you enjoy watching men move instead of talk, the personable, thirtysomething Kratt brothers, of Kratts' Creatures and Zoboomafoo, will appeal to you. They jump, hang-glide, scuba dive, ride camels, scale mountains, and romp with cute animals; and if you consider all the tree climbing and rope swinging they do, it's a surprise that E. R. Burroughs isn't in the credits. Sure, they're terrific at educating kids on the environment, but moms like them because their athletic antics are more riveting than hubby weed-wacking in his relaxed-fit jeans.
Kim Wilson, executive producer of TVOKids, says of the popular guys, "A lot of parents are just as excited to meet the hosts when they're out doing autograph sessions," but emphasizes that fan letters are all from the printing-with-crayons set - no perfumed invites, alas.
THE GLOBE AND MAIL Entertainment Sophie Vitkovitsky August 2000
